Thursday, June 22, 2023

Week 26: Slow


Donald Duane Scott
10 Jun 1927 - 30 Sep 2014

My dad moved slowly.  He never seemed to be in a rush.  He moved deliberately and took his time, whether he was walking or eating or talking.  He considered his words before he spoke and spoke quietly so, as a consequence, when he did speak it was something worth hearing. 

Dad was born as Donald Duane Scott in Milford, Indiana at 1:40 a.m. on 10 Jun 1927, the third of four sons born to A.C. and Eva Mae Bird Scott.  His brother Cleon "Jr" was 5 years old and his brother Forrest "Bud" was 3 years old when their new little brother joined the household.  Like most births at the time, Dad was born at home.  It was a Scott tradition to give each son a nickname and the one chosen for Donald was "Pat".  That nickname lasted for most of his life.

In 1930 when Dad was 3 years old the fourth Scott boy was born.  His new brother was named Franklin A. Scott but was forever known as "Skip" in the family.  What started as a happy family life at one time began to unravel and by 1932 Dad's parents had separated.  During the next two years Eva struggled with working and raising the boys as a single mother.  In 1934 she was granted a divorce.  Eva struggled again with being single until she told the boys in 1935 about her plans to marry a man named Ed Phillips.  Dad told me that he could remember worrying about learning to spell what he figured would be his new last name.  But he didn't need to worry. When Eva married her new husband she gave up custody of her four sons to start a new life and a new family as Eva Mae Phillips.  

Meanwhile, Dad and his brothers were left in the care of their grandfather W.O. Scott and a young housekeeper named Hazel DesVoignes while their dad worked out of state.  The Scott boys saw their mom occasionally but never got to know the man she married very well.  Dad's only real memory of Ed Phillips was that of him driving the boys home after a visitation with their mom.  As he drove, Ed would spit tobacco out the car window.  Instead of driving the boys all the way to their home Ed would stop a few blocks away and let them out before driving away.

Meanwhile, life with the housekeeper changed when she became Dad's stepmother in 1937.  Dad never spoke much about Hazel but I always suspected that she wasn't an ideal stepmother. Hazel was only 24 when she married a man who traveled for work, leaving her to care for four boys ages 15, 14, 10, and 7.  Maybe she would have become a good mother eventually but in 1940 Hazel died suddenly of a subdural hemorrhage. Dad told me that he was the one to make the long distance phone call to his father on the road to tell him about Hazel's death.

The next mother figure that came into Dad's life was a local farm wife who stayed with the boys during the week, cooking and cleaning and mothering them.  Dad spoke fondly of the two years that she cared for them.

Another tragedy came in 1942 when Dad's mom Eva died from pneumonia contracted after a surgery for ovarian cancer.  That same year Dad got a second step-mother.  Irene Shumaker was a 37-year old teacher.  She wasn't a warm, fuzzy person but she brought stability and order into the Scott family.

When I consider the series of events that happened to Dad between the ages of 7 and 15 I'm amazed that he wasn't scarred for life.  Instead, he became a stable, loving, normal, interesting man and father.  He never spoke a mean word about his mother and never talked disparagingly about either of his step-mothers.  He was a popular student at Milford High School, serving on the student council for three years (president of the council his junior year); running track for four; playing tuba in the band for three; acting in two class plays; and serving as the class secretary and yearbook sports editor in his senior year.  Dad chose to tell us about the positive things in his childhood and didn't dwell on the difficult losses he had.  Instead, he concentrated on creating a happy and stable home for his three children and I'm forever grateful to him for that gift.

Jr, Bud, Pat, Skip

Dad in his soap box derby car

senior picture

Dad with me at 18 months

Dad in June 2014



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